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Screaming on the Inside

The Unsustainability of American Motherhood

Audiobook (Includes supplementary content)
0 of 1 copy available
Wait time: About 6 weeks
0 of 1 copy available
Wait time: About 6 weeks

In this timely and necessary book, New York Times opinion writer Jessica Grose dismantles two hundred years of unrealistic parenting expectations and empowers today's mothers to make choices that actually serve themselves, their children, and their communities

Close your eyes and picture the perfect mother. She is usually blonde and thin. Her roots are never showing and she installed that gleaming kitchen backsplash herself (watch her TikTok for DIY tips). She seamlessly melds work, wellness and home; and during the depths of the pandemic, she also ran remote school and woke up at 5 a.m. to meditate.

You may read this and think it's bananas; you have probably internalized much of it.

Journalist Jessica Grose sure had. After she failed to meet every one of her own expectations for her first pregnancy, she devoted her career to revealing how morally bankrupt so many of these ideas and pressures are. Now, in Screaming on the Inside, Grose weaves together her personal journey with scientific, historical, and contemporary reporting to be the voice for American parents she wishes she'd had a decade ago.

The truth is that parenting cannot follow a recipe; there's no foolproof set of rules that will result in a perfectly adjusted child. Every parent has different values, and we will have different ideas about how to pass those values along to our children. What successful parenting has in common, regardless of culture or community, is close observation of the kind of unique humans our children are. In thoughtful and revelatory chapters about pregnancy, identity, work, social media, and the crisis of the Covid-19 pandemic, Grose explains how we got to this moment, why the current state of expectations on mothers is wholly unsustainable, and how we can move towards something better.

Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      October 17, 2022
      New York Times opinion writer Grose (Sad Desk Salad) explores the unrealistic expectations that plague contemporary mothers in this stirring account. Grose first offers a history of the “insidious ideals” behind motherhood in the U.S.: In colonial times, women were “thought to be more susceptible to the devil while they were pregnant,” and a trend in the 1940s and ’50s saw mothers being blamed for their children’s mental illnesses. Grose then brings things up to date: visions of an “ideal,” beautiful pregnancy often hide mental health problems; women are expected to sacrifice their own well-being for their children’s needs; and workplaces are generally unsupportive of mothers’ need. She finds cause for optimism in potential societal changes that “have to be multipronged—a combination of political shifts, workplace shifts, and interpersonal shifts.” She calls for paid family leave for all workers, affordable childcare, and taking action in one’s own community by, for example, donating to a local diaper bank. Grose is candid about her own experience as a mother, and moving stories from other women who have felt the weight of “unrealistic, elitist, and bigoted expectations” add heft to her survey. Mothers struggling to keep their heads above water will find camaraderie in this empathetic outing.

    • Library Journal

      June 10, 2024

      When it comes to motherhood, journalist and author Grose (Soulmates) did everything according to plan. She was the socially acceptable ideal age, debt-free, and determined to succeed, yet even she found that "parenting cannot follow a recipe." Grose takes a thought-provoking perusal of the history, science, and contemporary wisdom surrounding motherhood. From master laws and monetization to maternity leave and mental health, moms are often up against seemingly insurmountable stigmas and stereotypes, especially in the age of supermom social media influencers. Grose interviews additional women to provide a vast array of racial and socioeconomic viewpoints. Narrator Suehyla El-Attar gives such a heartfelt performance of this first-person nonfiction narrative that it is easy to forget it is not read by the author. The frustration and fervor with which Grose approaches the social and psychological barriers facing mothers is conveyed compellingly in El-Attar's impassioned portrayal. The publisher provides a downloadable accompanying enhancement with acknowledgments and research sources. VERDICT This audio will appeal to listeners seeking an honest, sometimes infuriating analysis of American motherhood from a variety of perspectives. Recommended for fans of Judith Warner and Angela Garbes.--Lauren Hackert

      Copyright 2024 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

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